I have a really hard time coming to believe that selflessness really exists... for better or worse for the strides of humanity. I suppose that makes me cynical. There's always going to be that drive to revel in the selfishness of having done something truly kind of unique. It's almost a superpower that I can't grasp... I have done things out of the kindness of my heart on a day to day basis, which is great, and I can walk around with that feeling for a certain period of time.
But those things that truly alter the course of history or at last for the lives of many seem odd. Perhaps the reason we take credit for doing the deeds of angels is that it is to inspire others and let them know of this incredible feeling is real and possible and all encompassing once shared with an understanding audience of well-wishers.
I have the drive to be the odd man out in a situation like a creative collaboration on a project. I don't necessarily like the limelight. A small amount of shared adulation can get me by and let me be for a while. I do, however, profess to harbor the Great God-sized Hole in myself, delusions of grandeur, narcissistic desire... and I think we should all feel some of this sometimes in order to be at peace with our shadow, and to confirm or deny these feelings for the better in small ways.
They say (I say) the ear doesn't really develop for playing with music without exposure and familiarity to music, without finding music that really speaks to you... Indian musical philosophy seems to teach that the performance of music is perfect reflection of the material and spiritual totality of a person- their essence or essential nature. In a more technical manner, Chinese and tonal language speakers have a leg up on our biochemical ability to decipher sound and pitch. (And there's an emphasis on the arts under a totalitarian or ruling regime.)
This appreciation of form and essential being or even 'soul' brings a meeting of hearts and minds between every single person that exists, even if with some small degree. Some are even specifically attuned to this subtle connection, We also have that meeting of the mind within ourselves. (Some call this The Master Mind's relationship to our individuality.) The gift of introspection comes at a cost though. We face uncomfortable truths and a battle for certainty in a world full of conflict, contradiction, and irreconcilable duality.
This can be seen even our social and political ideas. Politics is by its very nature the essence of division, and yet we all work ourselves into a metaphysical knot trying to understand why the answers just won't come. Identification of a multi-faceted power structure is required then, and with that further down, down, down into the details you must wander to truly become 'educated about the issues'. And not that there aren't right answers to questions that perplex us... human dignity and rights an unshakeable, powerful notion and inherence to us all.
I used to tell friends and acquaintances to "Zoom out" to understand the true nature of reality. And I suppose I was on to something, even if clunkily coming from an upbringing alongside computers rather than film lenses and photography. Some aspects of ourselves and the collective We (the noosphere) are just eerily outside of us, a time-dilated influx of chaos into order and repeating dispositions of the two. How could you possibly grasp the entire truth without at least an attempt to see yourself from the outside in? It takes introversion to complement extroversion, even persistence to examine ourselves either way, and as well we know (if you've been following along), Balance is the fundamental and most powerful force in Existence.
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