Painfully aware of everything.

It's not a enough to know everything,  Your concern for others instead of yourself should win the day,

Luckily enough, I have somehow had the propensity to find a moment for reflection in even the most hectic of times.

It's not enough that I'm looking within. I'm so happy about other people succeeding that it's actually detrimental to my own happiness. That is an unfortunate take on living like a normal human being in a boring place etc. etc. my life doesn't affect yours, and so on, repeating.

"What now?" you say... well! Maybe don't be all things to all people. Maybe take a moment to realize all your past bullshit was just a lesson waiting to be taught. If you've of waited(!) for a minute to let the moment pass, it wouldn't have meant so much to you at all. I don't know why patience is such a virtue, but thankfully, IT ARRIVES.

Hold the phone! :) a few more things. Is there nothing worse than a habit?  Just doing the same thing over and over for seconds, weeks, years?  If I had a choice, I would say "FUCK NO" to every stupid repetitive behavior that I've ever been a part of, aside from breathing, eating, and the necessities.

Being very aware of your feelings has such a redemptive feel to it. I thank all of my friends who made me aware of mine. Being able to first recognize how you are feeling and why - it's the very fucking shiny first step towards progress.  Yes it's fun to swear and make art but it is a completely differently thing to take yourself seriously, be serious all the time, and not have any fun or enjoyment until you can no longer cry nor laugh, just sit in silent contemplation. It sucks.

Laugh, be merry, and be reasonable.  We should value our time alive. If all else fails, find new family and make new friends.  Make yourself uncomfortable. The door is always there.